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Wayne Dyer: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life – Chapter 28

  • May 15, 2025
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Chapter 28: Living Virtuously

“Know the masculine,
but keep to the feminine:
and become the valley of the world.
Being the valley of the world,
eternal virtue will never desert you,
and you become like a little child again.

Know the white,
yet keep to the black:
be a pattern for the world.”

True Virtue Is Rooted in Balance and Soft Power

This verse speaks to the deep Taoist principle of balance — of embracing dualities and finding strength in humility, softness, and surrender. Wayne Dyer interprets this as a call to live virtuously by embodying the Tao, not by conforming to rules or external ideas of righteousness, but by living from inner alignment, humility, and wholeness.

The Tao suggests that we know strength (masculine) but lead with softness (feminine). True virtue lies not in moral superiority or effortful perfection, but in presence, compassion, inner integrity, and the ability to remain centred in the face of opposites.

To live virtuously is to live authentically, humbly, and in harmony with all that is — not from ego, but from soul.

Key Concepts:

Don’t strive to be good — be true, and goodness flows naturally

Balance masculine (assertiveness) with feminine (receptivity)

Real virtue isn’t performed — it flows from being aligned with the Tao

Return to childlike openness and purity

Actionable Steps: Living Virtuously

  1. Embrace Soft Power
    • Be aware of your strength, but express yourself with kindness, gentleness, and receptivity.
    • Let go of the need to win, dominate, or be right.
  2. Live Without Pretense
    • Don’t try to “act spiritual” — instead, be humble, real, and heart-centered.
    • Virtue is a byproduct of deep inner work, not moral performance.
  3. Reclaim the Childlike State
    • Cultivate curiosity, innocence, and play.
    • Let go of cynicism, judgment, and the need to seem in control.
  4. Hold the Tension of Opposites
    • Practice being at peace in duality: joy and sorrow, light and dark, strength and softness.
    • Instead of choosing sides, be the space that holds both.
  5. Be a Pattern for the World
    • Your way of being — quiet, open, humble — becomes an example.
    • Lead by presence, not preaching.
  6. Act with Integrity When No One Is Watching
    • Let your private life reflect your public values.
    • True virtue is who you are when it doesn’t “benefit” you to be kind.
  7. Forgive Yourself and Others Easily
    • A virtuous heart is a light heart — one that doesn’t carry blame or bitterness.
    • Return again and again to compassion.

Affirmation for Chapter 28:

“I live with gentle strength.
My virtue flows from my inner harmony.
I lead by being — not by force.”

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