Chapter 20: Living Without Striving
“Stop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes and no?
What difference between success and failure?
Must you value what others value,
avoid what others avoid?
How ridiculous!
Other people are excited,
as though they were at a parade.
I alone don’t care,
I alone am expressionless,
like an infant before it can smile.
Other people have what they need;
I alone possess nothing.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind.
I am different from ordinary people.
I drink from the Great Mother’s breasts.”
In this verse, Lao Tzu speaks from the voice of someone fully immersed in the Tao — untangled from society’s constant pressures, validations, and ambitions. While others chase success, fit in, and perform, the Tao-centered person chooses non-striving and lives from inner alignment.
Wayne Dyer interprets this chapter as a direct challenge to our obsession with effort, comparison, and the need to be “productive” or “successful.” Instead of striving to compete or win, we are invited to return to the calm centre of being — like a child, unattached and effortlessly alive.
Living without striving means letting go of force, comparison, and pressure. It’s trusting that your worth and place in the universe are inherent, not earned. From this space of surrender, peace and flow arise naturally.
Key Concepts:
Return to childlike stillness and presence.
Striving separates you from the Tao; surrender connects you to it.
Comparison leads to anxiety and illusion.
Be content to drift, to not know, to not push.
Actionable Steps: Living Without Striving
- Let Go of the Race
- Ask yourself: “Who am I trying to catch up with?”
- Give yourself permission to slow down or even stop.
- Practise Inner Detachment from Outcomes
- When working on a goal, remind yourself: “I do not chase. I align.”
- Release the need to force or control results.
- Stop Comparing
- Unplug from social media or other platforms that feed performance-based self-worth.
- Affirm: “I am on no one else’s timeline.”
- Rest Without Guilt
- Take breaks without mentally punishing yourself.
- Honour your body and energy without needing to earn rest.
- Observe Your Inner Dialogue
- Notice when thoughts about success, failure, productivity, or validation creep in.
- Gently return to the present moment: “I am already enough.”
- Do Without Doing (Wu Wei)
- Act from inspiration, not desperation.
- Trust that aligned action is more powerful than forced effort.
- Embrace Simplicity and Mystery
- Be content not knowing everything.
- Live with curiosity instead of answers.
🧘♀️ Affirmation for Chapter 20:
“I release the need to strive. I am enough, now and always. I flow with life instead of fighting it.”
